We have very big changes happening with Leah these days. Big changes mean our old way of doing things is gone and even though it's mostly a good thing, it's also a reminder that she is different, that we are different. This is an update that I've been really dreading because it's hard. Saying these words, well typing these words, hurts my heart a little bit. You may remember a few weeks ago I posted that we were fighting with Leah's daycare about moving her into the toddler room. We finally arranged a time for Ty and I to observe her in the toddler room along with the director of her daycare center. She was in her zip-zac and spent an hour playing and singing songs with the other kids. Ty and I thought she did great and while there were some things she'd need some extra help with, we were very excited about her being able to transition. Apparently the director of the center thought differently.
We met with him a few days later and he had written up lots and lots of reasons why she would not be able to move. Some of the reasons he gave were that she could roll over the other children's hands and feet and she wouldn't be able to sit on her own for circle time. While yes, that is technically true, why should that be a deterrent? Couldn't they find a simple solution to 2 very simple problems? It felt like he was grasping at straws and finding very petty reasons why they could not or would not accommodate her. His final comment was that she could not move to the toddler room and she could not stay in the infant room after 18 months. Ummm, what??!! She had just turned 18 months, so I asked him point blank, "Are you kicking us out?" His response was, "You can draw that conclusion." So that's how you treat a child who you claim to "love and adore." We did some pushing back and he agreed to let her stay in the room for 3 months while we found alternative child care arrangements. I was ready to pull her out that day, but of course my practical self had to restrain because we still have jobs and didn't have anything else lined up. The very fortunate thing is that we have a wonderful organization in town who does daycare and preschool programs for children with special needs, but also have mainstream kids there. We are even more fortunate that Leah got in and is able to start this summer.... tomorrow in fact!!
I'm so disappointed that this is the way things had to be. The daycare we are leaving is just down the street from us and these are kids who she'd eventually be with in school. It's a small center and it did have a family-life feeling. I loved her teachers, especially one of them in particular, and I know she and Leah are going to really miss each other. And then there's this business of being reminded that she's different. I think that's the hardest part for me, her being kicked out simply because of her disability. It makes me sad for her because someday she'll understand, and it makes me sad for the other kids there who could learn from her. In the end, we don't want her to be where she's not welcome, which is why we're not going to fight to have her stay.... even though we know they are violating Americans with Disabilities Act laws. It's more important for us to put her somewhere that she is welcome and will be well taken care of. My heart breaks a little that we were treated this way, and even moreso that she was treated this way.
My heart also soars because of her new school! We received the exact opposite treatment from them in that they did everything they could to make things work. We could tell how much they wanted Leah to be there and how strongly they believe in their work. There's a lot of excitement about getting Leah to a place where she can spend the day with her peers - her class is made up of kids who are 16-22 months old - and she'll be mobile in her new wheelchair. It is true that when one door closes, another opens. In our case, this new door is opening to an amazing opportunity and will be a much better place for her. I am very thankful for this new change in our lives.
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